And yet...

My soul is full of winter
decadence and plastic ice
I strive to frame a picture
where you can realise
that I've been here all along
and I haven't lost my mind
though I just keep a handful
of those marbles you gave me last
for us to play in silence
filling the holes of our paths
with colours for the future
of which I'd like to take part.

Present

I don't know what I'm living,
don't quite know where I belong,
just feeling a little bit uncertain,
how to tell what is right from wrong.

Need to know I'm back on track,
footprints can be finally seen,
would be tough to sweep under this rug,
so much said, so much redeemed.

But days show no remorse,
no views of distant lands,
some language becomes coarse,
all of a sudden, like your demands.

Slowly

Slowly
I am dying inside
out of reach and out of sight
while seven hours in seven days
leave me watching a distant haze
hoping for some feelings to subside.

Slowly
dawn turns its back to dusk
covers my skin with a lot of dust
clouds loom and cry so hard
one can't avoid feeling scarred
cause the air tastes as we've discussed.

Slowly
time flows by my side
keeps an eye on me, holds me tight
cheers me up when daylight's down
can't complain when no one's around
don't know how to get things right.

Save Me

This is quite something

Someone else

I don't want to be me,
want to fall endlessly,
through a hole in the ground
with a sign pointing down
stating 'here you'll be safe and sound'.

I want to be them,
with no cars and no gems,
with no trying to pretend
there's a beginning, but no end.

How come

Thinking,
your blessings,
your eyes watching,
my mind drifting
away,
you moving,
giving,
me receiving,
staring,
expecting,
checking,
not thinking,
disappearing,
travelling,
my mind, for a while, blinking,
and, again, thinking
how come loving
is made so easy,
for once,
and desiring,
five minutes to keep writing
your name
in my feelings.

bullet proof...i wish i was

"Limb by limb and tooth by tooth
Tearing up inside of me.
Everyday, everyhour, wish that I was..
Was bullet proof

Wax me, mould me
Heat the pins and stab them in.
You have turned me into this, just wish that it..
Was bullet proof

So pay me money, and take a shot
Lead fill the hole in me.
I could burst a million bubbles, all surrogate..
& bullet proof (slowdown, slowdown, slowdown)
Bullet proof (slowdown, slowdown, slowdown)"

(Radiohead)

Every once in a while I get this exact funny feeling. Before wishing that, something runs deep, beneath the skin, and it hurts. Badly.

Shifted

There is a small spot
in this train of thought
where I could travel in time
with just one dime.

And I wish I could,
through a tiny dot
while sitting at night
watching as the light
attaches to your dress, white,
unique, in the empty parking lot.

Draft

I might just not be there
when you look again at me,
might have been blown away,
alone, as alone one can be.

I do want...

I want to travel light
leave my luggage on the rack
of that car that just passed by
let it go without a sight.

I wish I was a vessel
lost at the furious black sea,
want to find myself sinking,
drowning as you let me be

in your heart, soul and arms
rocking me as in thin air,
while sand falls from distant clouds
I am no longer in despair.

Bewildered

Let the pain
go down
slowly,
let it slip
through
your mind,
make way
for melted
reasons,
there really isn't
a lot of time

For me
to find
a fancy,
yet another
eerie
thought,
that appears
has been wrought
by your silence
and the walls

That you build
around
my feelings,
let me out
through one
door,
can't you see that
I'm starving...

It doesn't rain
anymore.

Ugly Love

Great song.

Branched off

I dreamt of a thread, winding up in my head,
wrote secretly a truth, thought could have been a sleuth,
did it on the walls, like those days at the stalls
with presence,
and absence,
your essence fills it all.

I listened to the wind, stitches on my skin,
these days life feels so thin, rain keeps coming in,
I can barely hold your token, dare to think a door is open
a few lines,
showing signs,
account now for lost times.

I dreamt of a thread, went back twenty years
the sound of your words, traded my days with tears,
they dried my eyes, but not my soul
which in disguise,
kept this light
to pour in your bowl.

No Mercy

He looked for faces, in familiar places,
and found his town, turned upside down,
all he cared for was now
a wreckage.

How do we get from one day to the next,
with no water, no light, no gestures,
you know we could've fight that beginning,
and embark on such an adventure,
but some of them chose the language of violence,
and all of them the words of their god
they simply dismissed a challenge
hardly believe they just forgot.

And he wonders why it still keeps spinning
while we sit amidst all these dead
only three hours of misery
after which his life hangs by a thread.
He does not want to keep running,
wants to see his kids fly a kite,
wishes only to hear the good notes
and not the hatred that begins to ignite.

Will it be another addition
to the backyard of our minds
to consent on such a massive carnage
so ferocious it is almost blind.

So as the fools show no mercy
and shouts come from distant lands
hope withers in every corner
as flowers begin to die.